(This is for Ergie and Steve, with whom we were out last night. Having seen, and been fascinated by, this sign at High Storrs School, Sheffield, they suggested I write a verse on the subject.)
"Well behaved children are welcome:
The rest will be made into pies."
We've a casserole dish at the ready,
And a cleaver to cut them to size.
If acquainted with Titus Andronicus,*
You may well be in for a treat.
Unless you've ensured they're brought up well,
It could be your sons that you'll eat.
*For those not familiar with Shakespeare's blood-thirsty play of this name, Titus Andronicus served up to Queen Tamora the heads of her two sons in a pie - an act of revenge.