The nicknames of the teams that play in England's football league,
Are sometimes very obvious and sometimes may intrigue.
Each one of them is mentioned in these rhyming acrobatics.
We'll start with one that mystifies: just what the heck are
latics?
There is a range of colours, mostly patriotic hues,
Sky blues*,
whites and
lilywhites,
the
reds,
two more plain
blues.
Toffees...
cherries...
tangerines don't make for balance dinners,
Though to fend off indigestion those fine
clarets may prove winners.
Or
shots of something stronger may be tempting for a few,
But guess the vast majority drink what the
brewers brew.
When it comes to animals, enough for sev'ral zoos,
With
shrews and sheep aplenty, for the
rams have got two
"U"s.
Black cats,
lions,
tigers all fit into feline boxes,
Whilst
terriers are canine types, along with
wolves and
foxes.
There are
shrimps and a
cod army, which in water all survive,
(Though they wouldn't if they couldn't breathe: their
gills keep them alive.)
For budding ornithologists are lots of birds to pluck:
To start, a brace of
magpies (for just one would bring bad luck).
We have the sharp-clawed
eagles, which have preying on their minds,
Whilst
swans and
gulls and
seagulls are all webbed and swimming kinds.
Next
canaries,
bluebirds,
bantams, three
robins and the
owls:
We'll add flying
bees* and
hornets, though they're insects and not fowls.
We can classify the workers, who perform their chosen task:
The
millers mill, the
potters pot, the
cottagers - don't ask.
We've
tractor boys and
railwaymen, we have the awesome
gunners,
And as "goffers", we have
trotters and three
rovers but no runners.
Another pair of craftsmen both relate to types of seating,
Though the
chairboys and the
saddlers won't for custom be competing.
Of
seasiders a handful, as befits an island nation:
The
pirates buckle swash, and
shrimpers nab the odd crustacean.
The mariners have sadly sunk to where the fish get caught,
But
Pompey must mean something of a nautical import.
If the right accessory's the sort of thing that matters,
We've
cobblers,
glovers,
baggies (but we've now lost both the hatters).
The
royals can afford such things (and mansions with a
pool),
And the
posh with dosh go shopping, just to make themselves look cool.
Through
forest,
dale and
borough, they will sport their trendy clothes:
Silkmen used to make their stockings, (whilst the poor man
dons* plain
"O"s).
The right tool
spurs the will of those in heavy metal trades:
Thus the
iron and the
hammers and those ever-steely
blades
That we put in handy
Stanley knives (once opened and rescrewed),
Or the
daggers (to be kept away from those in murd'rous mood).
There is a bunch of
villans, crooked
Spirerites and some
tykes,
We've a couple of
red devils and their mischief-making likes.
But, on the side of righteousness, some movers and some
shakers:
Pilgrims,
saints and
minstermen,
the
valiants and
quakers.
The
Grecians are a mystery: they hail from who knows where?
(They may, in their two thousand form, be used to treat grey hair.)
The
Cumbrians,
however, have a name which gives a clue.
The
superhoops (or sometimes
"R"s) complete our ninety-two.
*
2 teams with same nickname
This verse is being posted at the special request of Steve B
For details of my other books -
Britannia's Glory and
James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.