We wanted to get business cards,
Had seem the TV ad.
A tenner* was the headline cost,
Which didn't seem that bad.
Printing on both back and front
Was what we had decided.
The quoted price, however,
Was for cards that are one-sided.
We carried on regardless.
There was postage... there was VAT...
The price had almost trebled,
But we ordered. That was that.
We'd confirmed the final image,
By a shaded background bordered.
Our cards were then delivered,
BUT THEY WEREN'T WHAT WE HAD ORDERED.
We phoned about this problem,
Said, "The cards aren't what we need."
A girl checked all our details.
"Yes, they're wrong," she soon agreed.
She sent a new consignment,
Which we opened with delight,
Then were quickly disappointed.
The design was still not right.
We emailed and we rang again,
Felt utterly defeated.
A third lot was dispatched to us.
THE ERROR WAS REPEATED.
We're waiting for the fourth batch,
And this tale's no longer funny.
We've warned them, "Either sort it please,
Or else refund our money."
The process should be simple,
But it's turned into a mess.
Will let you know what happens,
(Which is anybody's guess).
*
price shown on advert actually £9.99
For details of my other books -
Britannia's Glory and
James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.