To herald the start of the new English football season this weekend, an updated blog on the 92 clubs that are taking part.
Team nicknames in the Premier, and other football leagues,
Can be obvious, or one of those whose origin intrigues.
Each of them is mentioned in these rhyming acrobatics,
We'll start off rather mystified - just what the heck are
latics*?
There is a range of colours, mostly patriotic hues,
Sky blues,
whites and
lillywhites*, three
reds, three more plain
blues.
Toffees...
cherries... tangerines don't make for balanced dinners,
Though to fend off indigestion, those fine
clarets may prove winners.
(No "shots" now of the stronger stuff - so tempting for a few,)
But guess the vast majority drink what the
brewers brew.
When it comes to animals, enough for sev'ral zoos...
Stags,
shrews... sheep aplenty, for the
rams have got three
"U"s.
Black cats,
lions,
tigers all fit into feline boxes,
Whilst the
terriers are canine types, along with
wolves and
foxes.
There are
shrimps and a
cod army, which in water all survive,
(Though they wouldn't if they couldn't breathe: their
gills keep them alive).
Of primates there's a shortage and this will tell you why,
The
monkey hangers killed one (it was judged a foreign spy).
For budding ornithologists are lots of birds to pluck,
To start a brace of
magpies (for just one would bring bad luck).
We have the sharp-clawed
eagles, which have preying on their minds,
Whilst the
swans and soaring
seagulls are both webbed or swimming kinds.
Next
canaries,
bluebirds,
bantams, three
robins and the
owls:
We'll add flying
bees and
hornets, though they're insects and not fowls.
We can classify the workers, who perform their chosen task,
The
millers mill, the
potters pot, the
cottagers - don't ask.
We've tractor boys and
railwaymen, we have the awesome
gunners,
And as "goffers", we have
trotters and three
rovers but no runners.
Another pair of crafstmen both relate to types of seating,
Though the
chairboys and the
saddlers won't for custom be competing.
Of
seasiders, a handful, as befits an island nation,
Pirates used to buckle swash,
shrimpers nab the odd crustacean.
The mariners have sadly sunk to where the fish get caught,
Though
Pompey must mean something of a nautical import.
And if the right accessory's the sort of thing that matters,
We've
cobblers,
glovers,
baggies and we've now regained some
hatters.
The
royals can afford such things (and mansions with a 'pool),
And
posh citizens go shopping just to make themselves look cool.
Through forest,
dale and
boro they will sport their trendy clothes:
Silkmen did once make their stockings (whilst the poor man
dons* plain
"O"s).
The right tool
spurs the will of those in heavy metal trades:
Thus the iron and the
hammers and those ever-steely
blades.
That we put in handy
Stanley knives (once opened and rescrewed),
Or the
daggers (to be kept away from those in murd'rous mood.)
There is a bunch of
villans, crooked
spireites and some tykes,
We've a couple of
red devils and their mischief-making likes.
But on the side of righteousness, some movers and some
shakers:
Pilgrims,
saints and
minstermen, the
valients (no quakers).
Were they settlers? Were they
exiles? Did they just dream up the name?
Do the
Grecians have connections with a land from whence they came?
The
Cumbrians, however, is a very pointed clue.
The super
hoops (or sometimes
"R"s) complete our ninety-two.
*2 teams with same nickname
Also, welcome to our new viewers from Zambia, Azerbaijan and Costa Rica (who did so well in the 2014 FIFA World Cup this summer).
For details of my other books -
Britannia's Glory and
James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.