I didn't gain weight over Christmas,
No increase to bum, tum or legs,
But for three months or more, I've been piling on pounds,
And it's all due to Cadbury's crème eggs.
At the start of the year, these appear in the shops.
I am drawn to the tempting displays.
The message is "Easter is not far away,
And we'll help through those long winter days."
I load up the trolley with cartons galore,
By impossible cravings afflicted,
(There are folk who say that they find them "too sweet",
And thus happily stay unaddicted.)
Then I sit by the fire, and I unwrap the foil,
And bite off the top to begin.
Fondant filing's revealed, and to make my egg last,
I scoop and I eat - with a pin!
Though you have to be careful you don't prick your tongue,
This method's less mad than it seems:
I've been using it ever since childhood,
When I started with peppermint creams.