Better together - the Union Flag

The flag of St Andrew

The flag of St George

If Scotland becomes independent,
Will the Union Flag have to change?
Will we take off the cross of St Andrew?
It could end up by looking quite strange.

Our "Union Jack's"* a composite,
But its three crosses could become two,

Which are both red and white - such a pity.
How we'd miss Scotland's smart navy blue.

The flag of St Patrick   

* The Union Flag is only referred to as the Union Jack when it's flying on a ship

Boy wakes from coma speaking Chinese

Following an accident
A teenage Aussie bloke,
Spent a week in a deep coma,
Then he thankfully awoke.

The signs that he is back with them
His anxious parents please.
But they're very quickly puzzled:
He can only speak Chinese.

He'd studied it at high school,
Where he didn't learn a lot.
Now in Mandarin he's fluent,
But his English he's forgot.

It only took a day or two
For this to reappear.
On his new linguistic talent,
He has forged a new career.

An American "learned" Swedish,
In the self same situation.
And one chap mastered German,
Though he only knew Croatian.

Would that I could be unconscious,
Though a bit of time would vanish.
The trade-off would be worth it -
If I woke up talking Spanish.