Saturday, 25 May 2013

Police ban cheese chase

In a place known as Brockham, for two hundred years,
An annual event they would hold.
Folk give chase to a large Double Gloucester,
On an incline down which it's been rolled.

This is typically English behaviour,
I.e. harmless, eccentric and fun.
But the police say the innocent practice
Is unsafe, and cannot now be done.

What is more, they have upset a granny -
The supplier of cheese for this game.
They say that if anyone's injured,
They would hold this poor lady to blame.

The event may well happen regardless.
There are worse ways of getting a thrill
Than to breathe the fresh air in the springtime,
As one's stampeding down Cooper's Hill.

There must be real criminals out there,
Wrong-doers who need to be caught.
When the very last one has been captured,
Only then might police meddle with sport.

Till that day, Gran should keep the cheese churning,
And know that all sane folk would back her.
Good luck, if you're taking a part in this chase,
But watch out for the giant cream cracker.

Cooper's Hill, Brockham

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