Me, myself, I

For Julie, who asked me to write a verse on this topic.
M x


"Me and my mate
Went off to the fair."
If I'd been on my own,
Would ME have gone there?

Here is another
We maybe could try.
"A friend has invited
My husband and I."

If it happened that I
Were the sole invitee,
It's clear that the friend
Would invite only ME.

When I was at school
All the teachers would hammer
These most basic points
Of our language's grammar.

We dreaded those lessons,
And thought them a chore,
But it's sad that the rules
Are not taught anymore.

"Myself" has crept in
As an even worse blight;
A cop-out for those
Who can't get I/me right?

Though "self" is no pronoun,
(Reflexive its form),
Its usage as such
Is now almost the norm.

"Goodbye from myself,"
Is increasingly heard.
Why not, "bye from me"?
It's a much smaller word.

And "Myself, I feel..."
Is a favourite one.
(Well, feeling oneself
Might turn some people on).

A waiter brought food.
He was but a boy.
He hoped that "yourselves"
The meals would enjoy.

Cabin crews state,
As the plane's gaining height,
"Ourselves are all hoping
You'll have a good flight."

Government ministers
Also transgress,
And one's Michael Gove -
Education no less.

What can be done
To combat this curse?
Methinks something should,
Or it's going to get worse.


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M x