The showerhead's decidedly dodgy,
If you're lucky, you get a cool trickle,
As opposed to no water at all.
There's a vent by the bed that is dripping.
It is blasting out icy cold air.
Its "control" on the wall's a misnomer,
And the patio doors need repair.
The toilet won't flush - quite a problem -
It is missing key parts of its plumbing,
But all will be well very shortly,
As a man with some pliers is coming.
Your bath has no plug. You can't fill it.
So why is it there? you might think.
Is the hole to give access to livestock?
Is this why there's a frog in the sink?
You are right to be scared of the sockets,
(Assuming the power is still on)...
But your bedspread is fanned out and pleated,
And your towel has been shaped like a swan.
(This was week one, and then heaven!
A perfect hotel week two's chapter.
But the sockets were all European,
For which we had brought no adaptor.)
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