Friday, 21 March 2014


McVitie's of late have been trying,
To find out which biscuit is best,
To dunk in your tea or your coffee:
Several types have been put to the test.

A Hobnob is worst, their conclusion,
Because it is made out of oats.
It quickly becomes very soggy,
(They don't say if it sinks or it floats).

Digestives survive slightly better,
Researchers have proved this is true.
"Coated" are better than naked,
As the choc acts as some sort of glue.

They suggest that their packs feature info -
A warning is needed perhaps? -
Re: the time each variety lingers,
Before its predictable collapse.

We are told the best way of presenting,
Their product in coffees and teas.
Forget all the myths about angles,
And submerge it at ninety degrees.

What you're dipping will last a bit longer,
If your drink is allowed to cool down.
All sensitive souls ought to know this,
As they won't want their bikkies to drown.

Rich teas win out. That's official.
Their staying-power truly amazing.
A boon, I am sure, to all snackers
Who while away tea-breaks by grazing.

But why has the firm paid for boffins,
Who have studied for ever no doubt?
The folk in your average office,
Would have done all the testing for nowt!

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