Dunking

McVitie's of late have been trying,
To find out which biscuit is best,
To dunk in your tea or your coffee:
Several types have been put to the test.

A Hobnob is worst, their conclusion,
Because it is made out of oats.
It quickly becomes very soggy,
(They don't say if it sinks or it floats).

Digestives survive slightly better,
Researchers have proved this is true.
"Coated" are better than naked,
(Chocolate acts as a sort of a glue.)

They suggest that their packs feature info -
A warning is needed perhaps? -
Re: the time each variety lingers,
Before its predictable collapse.

We are told the best way of presenting
Their product in coffees and teas
Is, 'Forget all the myths about angles,
And submerge it at ninety degrees.'

What you're dipping will last a bit longer,
If your drink is allowed to cool down.
Every sensitive soul ought to know this,
As they won't want their bikky to drown.

The Rich Tea wins out. That's official.
Its staying-power's truly amazing.
A boon, I am sure, to all snackers,
Who while away tea-breaks by grazing.

But why has the firm paid for boffins,
Who have studied for ever no doubt?
The folk in your average office,
Would have done all the testing for nowt!