"Pride and Prejudice" unresolved

It's the template
For every romance ever written.
Our pair start as foes,
Then admit they're both smitten.

Elizabeth Bennet
Is forthright and plucky,
But in finding true love,
She has not been that lucky.

Mr Darcy is dashing,
Is rich and aloof,
And seems to have made himself
Gold-digger proof.

There are misunderstandings.
They spar and they fight,
Then all is explained 
And their future looks bright.

This book is a masterpiece:
Just has one blot
That mars very slightly
Its wonderful plot.

Fitzwilliam's his name -
Too long, must be said,
So what does she call him,
When tucked up in bed?

Does she shorten it somehow,
To Fitz or to Willie?
Or worse, find a nickname
That's cute, naff or silly?

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

The Duchess of Cambridge's hats

Welcome to our new viewers in Cambodia. Your impressive flag has happily settled itself somewhere in the middle of "Hello World".

I truly have missed my vocation.
Writing verses is not where it's at.
I should've embarked on another career,
Designing the ultimate hat.

I've studied the Duchess of Cambridge:
The photos all seemingly show
That headgear's deceptively easy to make:
All you need is a large piece of dough -

Of the kind that is used to make pizza,
Leave it egg shaped, then put it together
By adding a frill or a wisp at the back
Made of net, or some wire, or a feather.

The format is not rocket science,
And seems like a bit of a doddle,
There's now one tiny hitch with this venture of mine -
I need someone who's famous to model.

© Maggie Ballinger, 2013

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

The Royal Christening

Welcome to new viewers in Oman, Bulgaria, Hong Kong, Thailand and Kuwait. Your flags have been added to "Hello World".

When a baby's newborn
He can look very wizened.
At three months, however,
He's fit to be christened.

To the world he's presented
And now can be seen.
He resembles a child,
Not some dried up old bean.

At last he has reached
An appropriate age,
When - looking half-human -
He takes centre stage.

He'll be dressed in a gown
Which is frilly, not dashing,
To face lots of cameras
All clicking and flashing.

Will he cry like his Dad did,
And screw up his face?
It cannot be comfy
All shrouded in lace.

Who'll be the godparents?
A fact that's concealed.
They have posh names (with hyphens),
And all be well-heeled.

The wedding cake had
An enormous top tier,
For just this occasion
Designed to appear.

George won't understand
What the fuss is about,
But, like it or not,
His whole future's mapped out.

Let's hope he has scope
And can do his own thing.
Even though this small baby
Was born to be king.

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

Hello World update

The nations' flags on "Hello World"*
Now number fifty-three.
We can't arrange them neatly
So just have to let them be.

The USA's and Russia's
Went AWOL for a time,
And Italy's disrupted
Some lines within the rhyme.

The Spanish flag stays at the top:
Insists on being first.
And many won't play nicely,
So our cursor's often cursed.

"Velkommin" now to Iceland,
"Hej" Danes and Swedish too.
The latest view's from Finland,
But Norwegians - "hvor" are you?

Brazil has paid a visit,
But "venha?" Portuguese.
You're conspicuously absent.
Do the verses fail to please?

Switzerland has joined us,
"Wo bis du Oesterreich?"
Is it I've not written yet,
The sort of thing you like?

We've visitors from Cyprus.
What language do you speak?
As the mainlands too have joined us,
I'll try "yassou", which is Greek.

Or "merhaba", which is Turkish.
Would be understood by sheep!
And ditto by the Saudis,
Who have been to have a peep.

"Bienvenido" Costa Rica.
"Hola" Mexico,
Venezuela, Argentina...
But there's still a way to go.

Hello friends in Malta.
To Italy, a "ciao",
South Africa and Egypt,
Have both turned pale green now.

Polynesia and the Philippines
Have logged from the Pacific.
"Apa Kaba?" Indonesia -
Your green dots look terrific.

How did all you folk discover us?
Am really glad you did.
Please spread the word to others.
Help our wholly green globe bid.

PS
It seems that with the Vikings,
The world is rather smitten.
But no one reads King Henry -
The best verse I have written.


*The original "Hello World" blog was posted in, and can be found under, April 2013

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

Ben the hamster

Welcome to new viewers in Argentina, Sweden and Cyprus. Your flags have been added to "Hello world".


Ben was furry, Ben was cute
A master of the exit route.
His cage was reinforced with tape:
Ben somehow managed to escape.
That battle he would always win
But never could he get back in.

One time, on a nocturnal trip
A Kinder egg he did unzip.
Next day... strange choc'latey aroma...
Ben on a cupboard, in a coma.

Then there occurred the thing we feared:
Ben simply upped and disappeared.
We put out hamster choccy treat,
(His very favourite thing to eat)
And sprinkled flour upon the floor
Then watched for signs of tiny paw...

Conditions of the flat we let
Forbade the keeping of a pet -
A term we clearly had abused.
Then, suddenly, the lights all fused.
Did this just our own home affect?
We warily went out and checked.

It seemed elsewhere was just the same,
A fault, we hoped, might be to blame,
But knew that Ben was more than able
To chew through an electric cable.

For Ben, this would have been the end.
We really miss our little friend.

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

Price comparison websites

I've sometimes used those websites
Which insurance quotes provide,
But I never did get on with them,
No matter how I tried.

"Go Compare" could not oblige me.
I got a big fat "no".
The reason was six speeding points
From TWELVE long years ago.

At one time they were relevant,
Though now they're at an end.
But the system had remembered them,
And thus I was condemned.

"Confused" was not efficent,
And lived up to its name:
Insisted that my husband's car
And mine were both the same.

Our address I'd duly enter
And his vehicle appeared.
I could not amend these details,
And nor could they be cleared.

They then sent me an email,
By which I was surprised.
I clicked the link. Got message.
"Address not recognised".

Now, once again, insurance
On my car was almost due.
My company had written
With the info to renew,

I thought I'd better check it out,
And this time - Oh what joy! -
I got a quote for half the price,
Plus bonus meerkat toy.

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

My laptop is trying to tell me something

"Ran out of memory at line 26",
This notice appeared on my screen.
Is this a problem that's easy to fix?
Just what does this stark message mean?

It's very bad news, and of that I am sure.
My computer is truly no good.
Won't connect to the web as it did, any more.
It won't even shut down as it should!

I've patted it, talked to it, begged and cajoled.
But it keeps on refusing to play.
It's a horrible thing. It is tired. It is old.
And I'm going to throw it away.

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.