Teaching phonics

In these stay-at-home times
Which affect the whole nation,
Many thousands are struggling
With home education.

How we all learnt to read
Is a mystery because,
The skill isn't taught
In the way it once was.

These days, there are phonics.
They form words when they're linked.
Sometimes they're quite subtle
And far from distinct.

Different sounds are produced
If you join up two "o"s.
"Food" and "good" do not rhyme.
Why is this? No one knows.

Digraphs and trigraphs
Most clearly abound.
These are two or three letters
That make just one sound.

It's not always easy
To get these things right,
Like the "i" "g" and "h"
In the middle of "night".

"Cr", "cl" and "br"
Are some sounds that one "blends".
Whereas "ch", "sh" and "th"
Are all deemed "special friends".

Silent letters appear in
A difficult word.
They creep in unbidden.
Are seen, but not heard.

A "k" starts off "knee".
"B" ends the word "dumb",
And it's got into "debt".
There is no rule of thumb.

Thrown into the mix,
(And where things can get sticky),
Some words don't conform,
And such words are called "tricky".

They crop up quite often:
Require recognition.
Children don't like them -
They're viewed with suspicion.

Take "we" for example,
It drives us all dotty,
(Unless it means "small",
Or what's done in a potty.)

Our language lacks logic.
It's complex. It's daft.
And mastery needs
Concentration and graft.

A small girl aged four
Longs to don pretty dresses...
To abandon the phonemes...
And play at princesses.

Thus Granny, at times,
Has her bouts of frustration.
(Though she's found chocolate buttons
A great motivation.)

© Maggie Ballinger

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024. 

Getting a refund from Ryanair

We'd booked with Ryanair,
And had duly paid our fare,
But our trip to Spain cannot now go ahead.
As they'd cancelled both our flights,
We were well within our rights,
To claim a refund of our cash instead.

This proved very complicated,
And I soon became frustrated,
As I entered details time and time again.
All those squiggles I'd reload,
From the "not a robot" code,
But my efforts were consistently in vain.

Then I finally succeeded,
Done the things the system needed.
To confirm, they'd send an email. This seemed fine.
In my inbox one was there.
It was from Ryanair...
Demanding that we now check in on line!


Just to update everyone. The following day, another Ryanair email appeared, entitled "Top tips for a speedy take off"!

A third email arrived a few days ago, hyping the fantastic low fare deals on offer and urging us to book.

Almost three weeks on, there is still no sign of the refund...


UPDATE - 26th May 2020

Still no sign of a refund for the flights that were cancelled in March. Our flights to and from Cologne in July have also now been cancelled. We have applied for a refund, and been told that we're in a queue! Earlier emails suggested that the queue might be lengthy, as priority was being given to "vulnerable" passengers. How do they know who these vulnerable passengers are? 

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

Handwashing

In this crisis, we know our best hope,
Is to hand wash with plenty of soap.

We must take our time with this, since
It takes more than a casual rinse.

Speed, when applying this stuff,
Means we're not being thorough enough.

Thus, performing our self-cleansing missions,
"Happy Birthday" we sing - two renditions.

Or one "God Save the Queen" will suffice:
There's no need to be anthem-ing twice.

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

A strange response to coronavirus

In the USA, outside some shops,
Folk form a lengthy queue.
So what is it that they hope to buy,
To see this crisis through?

Is it loo roll? Is it canned goods?
Is it pasta, rice or soap?
Are they after medications,
Or for sanitizer hope?

The tiny bugs are everywhere,
Give everyone the jitters,
So these citizens are after GUNS -
Do they plan to shoot the critters?

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

Twinkle twinkle

Twinkle twinkle little star,
I see you nightly from afar.
You shine so brightly in the west,
And there out-sparkle all the rest.
You're Venus, and your glowing ball's
A planet - not a star at all!

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

Signing up to Tesco Clubcard Plus

A supermarket promo
By the name of Clubcard Plus,
Offers ten per cent off two big shops,
Which sounded fine to us.

We go there fairly often,
And we always fill the trolley.
It costs eight pounds a month to join,
And would save loads of lolly.

Signing up on line was daunting.
Could I do this? Yes I could!
Computers can confound me,
But it seemed "so far, so good".

I have my piece of plastic,
Which is readily to hand.
I present this at the checkout,
And it's always duly scanned.

But to get this scheme to operate,
I must install "the app".
Get my phone out... go to Play Store...
And herein lies the trap.

When I search for Tesco Clubcard,
What I need just isn't there.
I find Sainsbury's, Aldi, Lidl,
But the Tesco apps are rare.

There is one for eastern Europe.
I could shop there with some ease.
But I do not live in Poland,
And nor am I Portuguese.

If my home's in Kuala Lumpar,
I can order stuff on line.
Ditto if I dwelt in Mali,
But not Newcastle on Tyne.

I've now cancelled my subscription,
Despite what I could save.
But maybe I will think again -
IF my phone starts to behave.

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.

Labour party policy

"You'll work thirty-two hours,
But will not be paid less."
This is Jeremy's claim,
For a path to success.

In effect, it's a wage hike
Of twenty percent.
To screw up our country?
Is that his intent?

It means that the price
Of our products will soar.
Those who might have bought British
Would have to pay more.

Our economy -
How can this make it grow bigger?
I don't get the logic.
Please someone, go figure.

For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.