Signing up to Tesco Clubcard Plus

A supermarket promo
By the name of Clubcard Plus,
Offers ten per cent off two big shops,
Which sounded fine to us.

We go there fairly often,
And we always fill the trolley.
It costs eight pounds a month to join,
And would save loads of lolly.

Signing up on line was daunting.
Could I do this? Yes I could!
Computers can confound me,
But it seemed "so far, so good".

I have my piece of plastic,
Which is readily to hand.
I present this at the checkout,
And it's always duly scanned.

But to get this scheme to operate,
I must install "the app".
Get my phone out... go to Play Store...
And herein lies the trap.

When I search for Tesco Clubcard,
What I need just isn't there.
I find Sainsbury's, Aldi, Lidl,
But the Tesco apps are rare.

There is one for eastern Europe.
I could shop there with some ease.
But I do not live in Poland,
And nor am I Portuguese.

If my home's in Kuala Lumpr,
I can order stuff on line.
Ditto if I dwelt in Mali,
But not Newcastle on Tyne.

I've now cancelled my subscription,
Despite what I could save.
But maybe I will think again -
IF my phone starts to behave.