I hadn't worn them for a while,
But simple...classic...is their style.
Today I would these trousers don,
And started thus to pull them on.
This can't be true! This can't be right!
They never used to be this tight.
I hopped. I sat. I groaned. I swore.
And writhed upon the bedroom floor.
Another pull, another squeeze.
The waistband's just beyond my knees...
I yank them slowly up my thighs.
In secret, have they shrunk in size?
Inch by inch, am getting dressed,
As legs are ever more compressed.
"Just give up now," instructs my brain.
(But could I get them off again?
The force by which this garment edged,
Might render me forever wedged.)
Am sure I haven't put on weight,
So what had caused me to inflate?
A final tug...I reach a hip,
Then note I've not unzipped the zip.