Facial hair removal (again)

Facial hair was the problem to tackle.
I've tried those wax strips, as you'll know.
Then someone suggested a lotion,
And I thought I would give it a go.

The "sensitive" type was then purchased.
Its "gentleness" seemed just the thing.
It was trowelled on my face as instructed.
Then the telephone started to ring.

The cream had been on for five minutes:
So not long till it must be removed.
"I'll answer that call," I decided:
Unwise, as events later proved.

"Hello," said a friend of my husband,
(Who had seemingly now disappeared).
I swiped at the cream and went searching.
My mouth in the process got smeared.

"Keep him chatting" was then the instruction.
A request I could hardly ignore.
As I spoke, what began as a tingle
Had revved up and was horribly sore.

My lips were not pink. They were scarlet!
Puffed up from their normal quite thin.
They had started to fray at the edges,
So were bordered by flaky raw skin.

With caution, I stared in a mirror.

What had happened left no room for doubt.

My pupils had deadened in horror,

And I looked like a very sick trout.

Approach depilation with caution.
Most mouths aren't inherently hairy.
Mine went scabby...took days to recover.
If I try this again, I'll be wary.