But must register to claim.
They already knew my email,
And my whereabouts and name.
These details I re-enter:
It seems innocent enough.
But they then ask for my income
And all that sort of stuff.
I complete a few more sections,
And suspicious now I feel.
Surely all this isn't needed
Just for five pounds off a meal?
My task is thus abandoned,
But the damage has been done,
For am instantly bombarded
With junk mail by the ton.
There are holidays to tempt me...
I've been mis-sold PPI.
The plans I need for "later life"
Will cash in when I die.
My home, it needs "upgrading".
I can learn another lingo.
I can play with bonus money
If I sign up with Wink Bingo.
For all manner of insurance
I can get a quick quotation...
I've been injured (so they tell me)
And "deserve" some compensation.
A psychic's seen my future:
"Good luck's due" she advises.
She's right because my inbox
Is jam packed with "claim now" prizes.
I've been "chosen" to receive a bunch
Of great "exclusive" offers.
Buying bags and shoes I do not need
Will drain our household coffers.
Casinos want my custom -
For free spins I've qualified.
Though I'm female and am married,
There awaits a Russian bride.
Wouldn't want to disappoint her,
Which is something we blokes dread,
But that discount on Viagra
Ought to help me out in bed!
For details of my other books - Britannia's Glory and James the Third - please see the blog/post of each, both dated October 2024.
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ReplyDeleteI've been avoiding them for a while now and never got paid anything - nor did I ever win anything from those offering a prize. I had thought the spam emails had finally dried up but, a couple of days ago, was offered an Asian bride. You'd think, with all the clever algorithms, they'd have figured out by now that I'm female and don't need a bride from Russia, Asia or anywhere else! Mx
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