Thursday 19 March 2015

Royal baby names

As you probably knew:
A royal baby is due,
A prince or princess we're getting.
But which will it be?
We must just wait and see.
Until then, there's a flurry of betting.

On events that are major,
We all like a wager:
Will the infant be fair, dark - or bald?
And the odds can be checked,
On returns to expect
If you've guessed what the child will be called.

Elizabeth? Mary?
The bookies are wary:
What you'd win for such choices not great.
Ditto Arthur or James,
Both historical names,
And forget about Charlotte or Kate.

You could win sums with zeros,
For Great British heroes:
Horatio, Winston and co.
Of our small island nation,
Both proved the salvation.
One died half a century ago.

To remember Wills' mum,
Sounds appealing to some,
As a tribute that's fitting in manner,
To bestow such a label,
He may not feel able,
And choose Frances, instead of Diana.

If you want to be savvy,
Steer clear of the chavvy:
Though you'd get decent odds, think again.
And I don't rate too highly
The chances of Kylie,
Nor of Tiffany, Royston and Shane.

All the lists are omitting
A name that's quite fitting
Why it's not there just serves to bewilder.
The girl should have been
Our country's first queen...
Which is why I'll be backing Matilda.

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