To herald the start of the new 2026-27 Premier League today, an updated blog on the nicknames of all 92 English football league clubs, plus a few drop-outs from previous seasons.
Team nicknames in the Premier, and other football leagues,
Can be obvious - or one of those whose origin intrigues.
Each of them is mentioned in these rhyming acrobatics,
We start off rather mystified - just what the heck are Latics?
There is a range of colours, mostly patriotic hues,
Sky Blues, Whites and Lilywhites, two Reds, two more plain Blues.
Toffees... Cherries... Tangerines don't make for balanced dinners,
Though to fend off indigestion, those fine Clarets may prove winners.
No Shots now of the stronger stuff - so tempting for a few,
But guess the vast majority drink what the Brewers brew.
We can classify more workers, who perform their chosen task,
The Millers mill, the Potters pot, the Cottagers - don't ask.
We've Tractor Boys and Railwaymen; we have the awesome Gunners.
And as "goffers", we have Trotters and three Rovers but no runners.
Another pair of craftsmen both relate to types of seating,
Though the Chairboys and the Saddlers won't for custom be competing.
And when it comes to animals, enough for sev'ral zoos...
Stags, Shrews... sheep aplenty, for the Rams have got three "U"s.
Black Cats, Lions, Tigers all fit into feline boxes,
Whilst the Terriers are canine types, along with Wolves and Foxes.
Under sea there's a Cod Army where the fishes swim and seethe;
These creatures don't have lungs as such. It's Gills that help them breathe.
Our friends - in French nos Ammies - now get added to the list,
And we'll sneak in here Red Dragons, even though they don't exist.
Of primates there's a shortage and this will tell you why,
The Monkey Hangers killed one. (It was judged a foreign spy).
For budding ornithologists are lots of birds to pluck,
To start a brace of Magpies (for just one would bring bad luck).
We have Ravens... sharp-clawed Eagles, which have preying on their minds,
Whilst the Swans and soaring Seagulls are both webbed or swimming kinds.
Next Canaries, Bluebirds, Bantams, three Robins and the Owls:
We'll add flying Bees and Hornets, though they're insects and not fowls.
Of Seasiders, a handful, as befits all island nations,
Pirates used to buckle swash, and Shrimpers nab crustaceans.
The Mariners are nautical as any team could be,
And Shakespeare mentioned Pompey whom he claimed was 'strong at sea'.
If the right accessory's the sort of thing that matters,
We've Cobblers, Glovers, Baggies and we've now regained more Hatters.
The Royals can afford such things (and mansions with a Pool),
And Posh Citizens go shopping just to make themselves look cool.
Through Forest, Dale and Boros they will sport their trendy clothes:
Silkmen did once make their stockings (whilst the poor man Dons plain "O"s).
The right tool Spurs the will of those in heavy metal trades:
Thus the Iron and the Hammers and those ever-steely Blades.
That we put in handy Stanley knives (once opened, then re-screwed),
Or the Daggers (to be kept away from those in murd'rous mood.)
There is a bunch of Villans, crooked Spireites and some Tykes,
We have Imps, we have Red Devils and their mischief-making likes.
But on the side of righteousness, some movers and some Shakers:
Pilgrims, Saints and Minstermen, the Valients (no Quakers).
Were they settlers? Were they Exiles? Did they just dream up the name?
Do the Grecians have connections with a land from whence they came?
The Cumbrians, however, is a very pointed clue.
The super Hoops (or sometimes "R"s) complete our ninety-two.
One team in the list above has got a triple mention.
Did anybody spot it? Did you pay enough attention?
Nine other teams have featured, and their nicknames have been quoted.
I decided to include them - even though they've been demoted.
